HawthorneVillager.com :: View topic

With bickering on some posts today, I think it's time to lighten the mood here a bit. Know any good (or even ok) jokes?

* No vulgur or profane jokes please (PG13?)
* No correcting gramer or spelleing
* No digging up two year old threads

I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...'

http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx

VS

http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx

zhamid wrote:

Devious wrote:

zhamid wrote:

they look identical to me... did they already fix the issue?

SPAGHETTI
For several years, a man was having an affair with an
Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not
wanting to
ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large
sum of money if
she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she
stayed in Italy
to raise The child, he would also provide child support
until the child
turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was
born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post
card, And
write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for
the Child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused
wife.
'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card
today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he
said. The wife
obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned !
white, and
fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

Author:	atntev [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:
ooh ooh, I got one... BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help Me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get Started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over The table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . ... . ... (scroll down) "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Author:	Devious [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Jokes
I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...' http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx VS http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx zhamid wrote: With bickering on some posts today, I think it's time to lighten the mood here a bit. Know any good (or even ok) jokes? * No vulgur or profane jokes please (PG13?) * No correcting gramer or spelleing * No digging up two year old threads

Author:	Wyl [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:
How do you hide a horse in an apple tree? Paint his hoofs red!

Author:	atntev [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Jokes
Devious wrote: I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...' http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx VS http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx at first I didn't get this... but then I realized... hahahaa

Author:	johnsmith [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it

HawthorneVillager.com http://www.hawthornevillager.com/phpbb/

Jokes http://www.hawthornevillager.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=20082	Page 1 of 2

Author:	Keleka [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:
Q: If girls with big boobs work at hooters, where do girls with one leg work? A: IHOP

Author:	christinajackson [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Jokes
Devious wrote: I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...' http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx VS http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx zhamid wrote: With bickering on some posts today, I think it's time to lighten the mood here a bit. Know any good (or even ok) jokes? * No vulgur or profane jokes please (PG13?) * No correcting gramer or spelleing * No digging up two year old threads funny how they only replaced the head in the picture.....

Author:	Rizwan [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:
A koala was sitting in a gum tree...smoking a joint. A little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'I'm smoking a joint, come on up and I'll share it with you.' So the little lizard climbed up the tree and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a couple of joints together. After a while the little lizard said his mouth was 'dry' and he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that when he reached the river he leaned over too far and fell in. A crocodile swam over to the little lizard and helped him to shore. He asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he got very stoned smoking a joint with a Koala in a tree. When the lizard went to the river for a drink he was so stoned he fell into the river. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest. He found the tree where the koala was finishing another joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey You!' The koala looked down at him and said, 'Shiiit dude.... How much water did you drink?'

Author:	MUSE [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:	I agree, here is my joke
One day, a chicken and an egg decide to have sex. They hop into bed and make wild passionate love. Afterwards, the chicken gets out of bed, lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and says, "Well, I'm glad that question is finally answered.

Author:	OddJobJay [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Jokes
Devious wrote: I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...' http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx VS http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx zhamid wrote: With bickering on some posts today, I think it's time to lighten the mood here a bit. Know any good (or even ok) jokes? * No vulgur or profane jokes please (PG13?) * No correcting gramer or spelleing * No digging up two year old threads they look identical to me... did they already fix the issue?

Author:	Xeemaa [ Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:
I've got one!! A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man`s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You`re finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that`s not a Porch, it`s a Ferrari."

Author:	atntev [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Jokes
digijay wrote: Devious wrote: I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...' http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx VS http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx zhamid wrote: With bickering on some posts today, I think it's time to lighten the mood here a bit. Know any good (or even ok) jokes? * No vulgur or profane jokes please (PG13?) * No correcting gramer or spelleing * No digging up two year old threads they look identical to me... did they already fix the issue? Yes, they did. That was quick. LOL.

Author:	Canonman [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:06 am ]
Post subject:
SPAGHETTI For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise The child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned ! white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.

Author:	johnsmith [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:56 am ]
Post subject:
Canonman wrote: SPAGHETTI For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise The child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned ! white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce. LOL

Page 1 of 2	All times are UTC - 5 hours
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group https://www.phpbb.com/

Author:	snodgrass [ Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:33 am ]
Post subject:
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any