HawthorneVillager.com

Hawthorne Village (Milton) Discussion Board
It is currently Mon May 11, 2026 1:12 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 30 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 7:51 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:55 am
Posts: 5629
If one partner is hitting the other partner it is abuse.
If the children are in the home when this is happening it can have a large impact in how they treat their spouse and their own children in the future.

Anyways it should be reported because just as stilldeciding say's "what if the child tries to step in and save a parent ."
Or even worse, what if the one parent hits the other so bad, that as a result there are very serious injury's, and the children witness this.

I feel you do not have to have bruises, to be abused.
I feel it is abuse to watch your parents beat, yell, and scream at each other.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 8:47 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 8:10 am
Posts: 2130
Christina,

It doesn't matter what my opinion of abuse is , it's what is the law's definition in Canada that counts. Of course a lot of these children in the care of CAS have seen their parents assault each other or seen a partner be assaulted by the other.

Anyways I've stated my opinion and that's it on this subject for me.



.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:26 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:51 pm
Posts: 1331
Location: Milton
stilldeciding wrote:
Lisi wrote:
christinaDio wrote:
Yes you should contact the police BUT what if nothing is really wrong?! You call child services and they get investigated but they were never harming thier children. Something to think about!

I am not saying you shouldn't what I am saying is keep an eye out but don't jump to conlusions.

Justagirl- I feel really bad about your friends neighbour's child, very sad story but sometimes you never know what goes on behind closed doors and we will never know. Sometimes Its the quiet ones that we should worry about.

Some people have different views on whats abuse and whats dicipline. I believe if thier is any brusing on the child thats ABUSE!!


Well put christnaDio. IMO I think if a husband and wife are fighting with each other in front of their children yes this is a shame. But I can not say I would get involved by calling the police. It is very unfortunate but what can you really do. You said they are being abusive to one another so it really isn't a matter of only one person getting physically abused. The police aren't going to do anything. Pay them a visit and say they received a complaint. You'll never know if the children are being physically abused unless you have seen it with your own eyes. Its a real touchy thing. I mean they could have a bruise but how do you know it didn't happen while playing. I understand you feel for the children but sometime things are better left unsaid. Maybe try and get to know them a little better maybe then you could draw a better conclusion.


Regardless of whether both parties are physically assaulting each other or not one or both are at risk of being seriously injured. If they are engaging in this in front of a child, what happens if the child tries to step in to stop them (very common) and gets seriously injured?

IMO better to do what you can than believing some things are better left unsaid (in your words.) Children are powerless in these volatile situations and deserve other adults to step out of their "comfort zone" and do the right thing.


Like I said it is a very touchy thing. You need to be sure of it before opening up a can of worms. I never said that because they are both being physically abusive to one another that makes it ok. All I am saying is that if you are really concerned than investigate a little further before making any kind of calls. How do you know that if you call its not going to create another problem in the house hold. Just be sure before getting involved is all.

_________________
John
http://s844.photobucket.com/albums/ab9/ ... al%20Tile/


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:36 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:23 pm
Posts: 2894
Location: New Milton
If they are fighting and it is noticeable for people outside it must be reported to police. Period.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:51 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:24 pm
Posts: 265
whats wrong with you people. She just saw them once hitting each other. we fight and argue too..yeah not in the public or outside and they did outside which is not right but don't make a big a deal..and pls don't judge them by what they have done outside..Chill guyz...But when u C them doing the same thing next time, just go straight to them and tell them, don't be chicken to point someone's mistake and eventually they will tell u to mind ur own business..but they will not do it next time outside..C they both fight'.. cant say that one is abusive or another..if it was anything like that why would they do it outside..one person can be abusive both cant be..and for God sake they have children's..and U have children's too and u love ur child like everyone else..dont u argue with ur hubbies?? imagine if u involve any of those so called organization's what would be the future of those poor kids..Com'on grow up and imagine if anything like happen to u..do u like your kids to end up with social services,, No right?? and Plzzz admit it.. these Husbands do drive women crazy..
Don't be ignorant in a way that calling the cops or the social services is the solution. just keep an eye..and be friends with them..they r your Neighbors..


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:03 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:24 pm
Posts: 265
A couple with 3 very young children. They are constantly fighting.
They are so loud sometimes that we can hear everything across the street. Recently my husband witnessed the mother and father fighting and being not only verbally but also physically abusive to each other.
This is very sad, as their children are quite young and are witnessing this.
Its really not any of our business, but I wouldnt want to find out in the near future that someone got really hurt in this family.
LOOKING FOR ADVISE. WHAT TO DO?



[size=18]Thats what they were doing?? Read it again..she didnt say that husband was hitting or wife was..Again pls dont advice if u dont know whats happening...[/size]


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:40 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:55 am
Posts: 5629
Xeemaa wrote:
A couple with 3 very young children. They are constantly fighting.
They are so loud sometimes that we can hear everything across the street. Recently my husband witnessed the mother and father fighting and being not only verbally but also physically abusive to each other.
This is very sad, as their children are quite young and are witnessing this.
Its really not any of our business, but I wouldnt want to find out in the near future that someone got really hurt in this family.
LOOKING FOR ADVISE. WHAT TO DO?



Thats what they were doing?? Read it again..she didnt say that husband was hitting or wife was..Again pls dont advice if u dont know whats happening...


Xeemaa it say's "not only verbally but physically abusive to each other."

The way I see it is:
The only way a person should stay in a relationship with a man or women that is physically abusing them is if they immediately get consoling.
If they do not get this and/or it does not work, then, these people and their children will always be at risk.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 4:50 pm 
That was basically the point of my original post, people are assuming that the spouses were hitting one another based on the original posters use of physical abuse. People define things differently and before people jump on the advice train make sure you have a good objective description of what happening.


Top
  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 5:40 pm 
I dont think anyone here is condoning physical abuse, I was simplying pointing out that people are assuming that the couple was hitting one another, when the original poster didnt not say that, and based perception from a distance something as simple as implusivly reaching for someones arm when someone is walking away from an argument, when from a distance could look like much more than it really is. All im saying is if youre going to get police involved in a situation you need to be 100% sure of what you saw.


Top
  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: NEIGHBORS FIGHTING
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:53 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:51 pm
Posts: 1331
Location: Milton
maggiedobro wrote:
Across the street from me lives a family.
A couple with 3 very young children. They are constantly fighting.
They are so loud sometimes that we can hear everything across the street. Recently my husband witnessed the mother and father fighting and being not only verbally but also physically abusive to each other.
This is very sad, as their children are quite young and are witnessing this.
Its really not any of our business, but I wouldnt want to find out in the near future that someone got really hurt in this family.
LOOKING FOR ADVISE. WHAT TO DO?


maggiedobro what kind of physical abuse have you witnessed? If you don't mind me asking.

_________________
John
http://s844.photobucket.com/albums/ab9/ ... al%20Tile/


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:52 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:24 pm
Posts: 265
I totally agree with rock_80 and MKG


apitaferreira: Xeemaa, you are the one who clearly does not get it at all.

Com'on I think whatever i said It make sense. People are just exaggerating the whole situation.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: NEIGHBORS FIGHTING
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:03 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:23 pm
Posts: 2894
Location: New Milton
maggiedobro wrote:
Across the street from me lives a family.
A couple with 3 very young children. They are constantly fighting.
They are so loud sometimes that we can hear everything across the street. Recently my husband witnessed the mother and father fighting and being not only verbally but also physically abusive to each other.This is very sad, as their children are quite young and are witnessing this.
Its really not any of our business, but I wouldnt want to find out in the near future that someone got really hurt in this family.
LOOKING FOR ADVISE. WHAT TO DO?


Back to original post.
If I would witness something exactly like this I would call police.
Why.
I witnessed how my parents were doing exactly the same.
It was terrible. Even more terrible then they did their punishment to me in old fashion way. I’m OK with them after all. They helped me a lot.
But they are not good with each other anymore and for a long time.
I never did anything like this to my wife. I have my lesson from witnessing of my parents.
But we are arguing. Few times it went to high. In the middle of this I saw eyes of my younger daughter. She was suffering emotionally. At this moment I knew how she was feeling.
Exactly they same way how I feel then I was little. It is very deep feeling of sadness.
Very close to physical abuse. But hurts much deeper and lasts longer.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:15 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 6:37 pm
Posts: 135
Location: HVE Since Sept 2009
I too suffered from abuse - neglect and fighting from my parents - and I VOWED to never have this happen to my children. That is why I feel STRONGLY that should ANYONE see abuse that action be taken. The worse thing that can happen is that they were wrong.. and the parents feel ashamed for their behavior.

Now before you slam me for this - and you know who you are.. - this could go wrong in the opposite way and the kids and wife/husband suffer more brutally. HOWEVER - they would be on notice with the authorities and something WILL be done rather than only being a first notice.

Please - let us be a community that cares rather than a community that's scared...

JMHO


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 3:28 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:23 pm
Posts: 2894
Location: New Milton
Correctness is often first sign of social apathy.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:12 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:16 pm
Posts: 253
Location: Marshall Cr. Glenwood Elv. B
How can you not report this? For all you who say "you could be wrong" maybe they are wrong but then so be it they were wrong, at least you would know for sure. It's better to be safe then sorry on this issue.

As for the family having problems because they have been reported for nothing, that is not the case. If the CAS and/or Police investigate and there is no abuse happenign then the family will not have any issues, and as someone else stated perhaps the parents will think twice before airing their arguements out to the public.

My wife and I have a number of friends and colleauges who work in these areas and hear of these situations all the time, sadly there are also lots of stories out there of children becoming seriously injured when it could have been prevented if someone had spoken up earlier.

I, for one, hope this has been reported.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 30 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
[ Time : 0.022s | 11 Queries | GZIP : Off ]