HawthorneVillager.com

ooh ooh, I got one...

BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help Me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get Started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over The table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . ... . ...




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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

_________________
Officially closed: 02/26/2009
HVE | Phase 4B

I'll add mine .. I'd love to hear how the conversation went to make this change. Its called 'Spot the difference game...'

http://www.microsoft.com/businessproduc ... fault.mspx

VS

http://www.microsoft.com/poland/busines ... fault.mspx

How do you hide a horse in an apple tree?

Paint his hoofs red!

_________________
Pain is Temporary Pride is forever

at first I didn't get this... but then I realized... hahahaa

_________________
Officially closed: 02/26/2009
HVE | Phase 4B

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?




Marry it

Q: If girls with big boobs work at hooters, where do girls with one leg work?

A: IHOP

funny how they only replaced the head in the picture.....

_________________
Christina Jackson
Mobile Mortgage Specialist
TD Canada Trust
T: 647 292 7597
F: 905 377 1634
P: 866 767 5446
email: christina.jackson@td.com

A koala was sitting in a gum tree...smoking a joint.

A little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'I'm smoking a joint, come on up and I'll share it with you.'

So the little lizard climbed up the tree and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a couple of joints together.

After a while the little lizard said his mouth was 'dry' and he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that when he reached the river he leaned over too far and fell in.

A crocodile swam over to the little lizard and helped him to shore. He asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he got very stoned smoking a joint with a Koala in a tree. When the lizard went to the river for a drink he was so stoned he fell into the river.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest. He found the tree where the koala was finishing another joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey You!'



The koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiit dude....
How much water did you drink?'

One day, a chicken and an egg decide to have sex.
They hop into bed and make wild passionate love.
Afterwards, the chicken gets out of bed, lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and says, "Well, I'm glad that question is finally answered.

they look identical to me... did they already fix the issue?

I've got one!!

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man`s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You`re finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that`s not a Porch, it`s a Ferrari."

Yes, they did. That was quick. LOL.

_________________
Officially closed: 02/26/2009
HVE | Phase 4B

SPAGHETTI
For several years, a man was having an affair with an
Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not
wanting to
ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large
sum of money if
she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she
stayed in Italy
to raise The child, he would also provide child support
until the child
turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was
born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post
card, And
write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for
the Child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused
wife.
'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card
today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he
said. The wife
obeyed And watched as her husband read the card, turned !
white, and
fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

LOL

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any